For the purposes of group discussion, we present the following questions to help enrich and invigorate your reading and subsequent analysis thereof:

1. OMG. What was that all about?
2. Why were there no orchids on the cover?
3. For that matter, why were there no orchids in the book?
4. Conjugate the entire novel.
5. Discuss the incessant use of the phrase “beer goggles”.
6. Discuss the refreshing absence of Magic Realism.
7. Discuss my hat at length.
8. No, keep going.
9. Describe the elegant way old people dance.
10. Does anyone have any Kleenex?
11. At what point did you fall asleep and why?
12. Who is Chet Atkins? Who is Lord Vexing? Why weren’t they in the book?
13. Who brought the babka? Wow; that was good! I can never make anything that good at my house. You bought it?! You didn’t!
14. Really? Where?
15. When Twyla says Gordo is “full of vinegar,” what the hell is she talking about? I mean, full of vinegar? Literally? Full?
16. How could the “Plight of the Jews” have better informed this story?
17. Next time, can we please pick something with a few more chicks in it?
18. Screw men! HA HA HA HA HA! Oh. Oh, not you, Bill. Sorry! You’re the exception. Damn, you look good tonight. Did I say that out loud? Shut up, Carrie—I have not had too much to drink.
19. What was the significance of the—of—of—oh, forget it.
20. This is so nice. Is this teak?
21. What was the question?
22. Book club? Oh, shit! I thought this was Bunco.

Alex Bernstein is a freelance writer in New Jersey. His work has appeared at Blue Print Review, Swink, MonkeyBicycle, The Legendary, The Rumpus, The Big Jewel, Yankee Pot Roast, WordRiot, and PopImage, among others. He can be contacted at his website http://www.promonmars.com.